Infidelity-How to Save Marriage After Infidelity

Published: 29th December 2009
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Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. Yes, of all the things that can tear apart a marriage, infidelity is one of the biggest reasons. Extramarital affairs are a betrayal of all the things that marriage is supposed to be about. A marriage is supposed to be a union of two lives, two people bonded together for a lifetime and breaking that bond is one of the most difficult things to overcome.

But I believe that even after the affair every relationship is savable if both parties really want to work on it. It takes two to make it work and not only one can do it so you both have to be in agreement to work on your relationship together, otherwise you are wasting life.

In a marriage, infidelity isn't just what happens when somebody begins a physical relationship outside of the marriage. Infidelity can also be emotional, when one of the partners in a marriage begins to share their life with someone outside the marriage. This is known as emotional infidelity, and it has become an even more serious problem in the last few decades. One of the reasons for this is because workplaces, one of our prime social engagements in modern times, have become increasingly more mixed.

In addition to that it is even easier to communicate with people on the sly. Instant messaging and texting, emails have all made it easier to bond with people that you shouldn't be bonding with. While this isn't the cause of emotional infidelity, it is a factor.

At the same time, physical infidelity has also become easier. We spend more time apart than we once did, and it is not at all uncommon to spend the majority of time at work, which gives us a very handy excuse when we make the decision to cheat in our marriage. Infidelity is a choice, make no mistake about that.

But the thing to remember is that all of these things are excuses and opportunities, not reasons. Changing the excuses won't change the marriage, won't solve anything. But that doesn't mean that you can't overcome cheating in marriage. Infidelity is a big problem, but it is not an insurmountable one.

The very first thing you need to do is to figure out what went wrong in your marriage. Infidelity isn't something that happens in a vacuum; there is always a reason when things like that happen. Something has broken in your relationship and it needs to be fixed in order to get past the cheating.

You need to make sure that you don't blame the other person. Yes, they cheated on you. No, it wasn't your fault. But you need to move past it, because playing the blame game will only delay the kind of emotional healing that needs to take place. You need to, as best you can, put it all behind you.

Once you've found out why and began work on it, you need to reestablish the trust in the marriage. "Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships" - Stephen R. Covey

Infidelity destroys trust, and it's going to be difficult after the affair to repair what was been broken. You need to work on rebuilding the trust. Don't expect it to happen right away, and don't expect it to be easy.

Infidelity is terrible, but every relationship can be repaired. If you can follow these steps, you can save your marriage. You just need to be willing to find the advice and the help you need to repair your relationship.



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